Is anyone else having irrepressable urges to kill the drop-down ads here on devart? Seriously? I'm tired enough as it is. Don't inflict pointless things on us, that only make us want to avoid this site. Please??


Job status: Why, oh why do I work retail? I know I have confidence issues, but why do I insist on torturing myself? Not that I don't get to meet really cool people at least once a day, but is that worth putting up with the overpriviledged whiners that flounce in afterwards? (Seriously, flouncing! and people with expectations of bootlicking.)
My manager has often informed me that, no I can't throw clogs at irritating people, no matter how much we want to. No justice in the world.

Personal update? I'm losing weight! Will be joining a gym for spining classes and yoga after I move(end of the month). And I'm dating... kinda. Does chatting online with one girl count as dating? Foot-in-the-door dating maybe? I'm not being anti-social, that count's right?
Be horrified: I'm being seduced by country music again. Also, totally getting the theme music from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" as a ringtone.




Good news though, I have new tatt drawings and I've been working on breaking this art-block! rahrah yayme! (Bleeding sardonic much?) More big cat/realistic stuff should be done soon too.



Props (because people need them):

Mangelsen (old yes, but pretty good photography)[link]

Meghan Tonjes (new musician) [link]

The beaver bunch (minus AJ, good Lez vlog on youtube)

Kevin Smith, c'mon I know too many stoners not to like this guy. (Also, proof of my geekiness, and the only reason why I think twitter is... not completely lame?) [link]

Management is trying to stick it's furry claws into me... and I've been trying to escape it for so long. I don't want responsibility right now. No no noes! I is nobody's mommy, being "house mom" is bad enough. Don't make me watch over a bunch of idiots that think they're adults!

Good news though, I am awesome at interviews, as usual. Though why I can stave off nervousness there and not during a date? Eegh... pain.

Oooo! Other good news: I'm actually working on two separate pictures. *Gasp* I'm actually doing art for the first time in 7? months?!

My baby's gone.

My mom let him outside for the night and didn't see him again. They found patches of white fur in our lower field, so we're assuming that either a coyote or a bobcat.

I've been doing good at the whole, "repressing it" thing. I've been breaking apart when I don't.

I didn't get to say good bye to him. My parents warned me last weekend that he probably wouldn't have lasted through the winter. He's been pretty sick. But I thought I'd have time to see him again at least. He was my anchor in so many ways. Kept me sane and afloat during highschool. Unconditional love. He would cuddle with me when I was sick, follow me around everywhere when I was depressed. My love. My baby.

I love these journals. The only ones where I've felt able to be totally honest, with having to censor myself... most of the time anyways.
Neat feeling.


Erk. My new manager is totally evil... in a good way maybe. Told me I have a cliche, lesbian car. I was like, "Cool?" I don't know... I LIKE subaru's. Their efficient little fuckers. Good on gas, good mileage, safe, compact... and, YEeeah, okay, so we can put kyaks and stuff ontop of most of them... so?

lol. I like not fitting cliche's... even though I bitch about it occasionally. blahblahbley.



I hafta find someone to go to pride with me. Where the fuck are all the laid back interesting dykes in this town? I don't have problems finding gay men! They're EVERYWHERE. Maybe I'm attracting the wrong gay here.
Are there any groups that DON'T hang out on Saturday afternoons?
I work retail.
We don't get saturday's off unless your bleeding.
Profusley.
Like out an ear or something.
Can I go straight now or something? Prettypleaaaase?
There's gotta be an internal switch in there somewhere to make guys attractive that way. That's what the religious types say anyways.



le sigh.

How is that with less sleep or being plied with alcohol I become more verbose, analytical, and "huggy?"

Because, seriously? Aren't you supposed to lose control of these things, not become MORE lucid? Maybe not on the "huggy" part though.



If there is somebody up there looking down on us... I swear they're laughing their asses off.
"Look what happens if you do THIS to humans."
"...Ahem, well, that experiment turned out a little different."






On another topic... is there any NICE way to dump/ditch someone??
PLEASE HELP! The whole "Your sexually non-attractive" doesn't work...
guys hear anything slightly lesbian like and they instantly think that
I'm a CHALLENGE. Diee-ing here! Next time I'm just going to be the
asshole that lives in my brain: "Yes, your Brad-pitt like and yet you
still kill my brain cells and make me nauseous. No. 'Fixing me' will
only make me want to castrate you."



And yet, as lonely as I've been lately...
it's hard to turn down any attention of that sort.


If I shave my head and become fem-brucewillis will I be more
attractive to girls? Really now. I'm starting to understand why so
many lesbians I've met are really ballsy and either butch or overthetop glam.

My problem is I like me tha way I am! And I want someone who likes
ME... not a butch weightlifter, glossy barbiedoll, or skinny granola yogi.


OKAY. My pre-req. bitching is done for the month, yes? LOL... geez.